But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
