he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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