I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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