living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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