For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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