i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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