I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize