I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
