My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
