do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
