It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
