Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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