party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize