Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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