im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
