am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well I just put wine in my tea
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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