you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
