then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize