He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
