So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
