I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
