your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
