Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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