Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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