i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize