i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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