who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
