I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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