took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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