i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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