How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
