I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize