Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
