Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Of course I have a pirate flag
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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