People in love make me want to vomit
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
