I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
