he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
