She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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