i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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