i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize