My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
