I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
