there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
