I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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