He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The cops high fived after they tackled you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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