on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
