is your mom at the bar?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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