After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
