so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
