1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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