After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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