Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need to sanitize my soul.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
