Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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