is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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