What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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