so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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