I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize