This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
